On Being Your Own Detective

Is it possible for splitting to happen without a trigger or is it just a trigger I'm unaware of?

Personally my splitting episodes always come from a trigger. Now I am good about finding the source. I’m tired of letting black and white thinking mess with my interpersonal relationships so I do the work.

It may seem foreign to do, but if you’re tired like me, get into the habit of retracing your triggers. You need to be your own detective. Even if the trigger is as trivial as someone glancing at their phone mid-conversation because it reminds you of feeling unimportant. Get used to validating those triggers because they are always rooted to something deeper. 

Tips: Pause when you feel something is not right. Write down what you’re feeling (angry, anxious, paranoid, morose) and the activities in the day that could have caused the emotion. If you don’t have access to your journal, download the CBT Diary app, it’s free. Train yourself to explore what hurt you down to the nitty gritty details as weird as it feels. The more you do it the easier it’ll be to pinpoint a pattern until you won’t have to write it down anymore. Until you can anticipate each trigger before they happen. You’ll feel a sense of control like never before.