Identity Disturbance and BPD
Identity Disturbance and BPD
Identity disturbance refers to the instability in a person's sense of self, and it is a prominent symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. This symptom can lead to erratic and unpredictable behavior. Individuals with BPD can experience four different aspects of identity disturbance: role absorption, painful incoherence, inconsistency, and lack of commitment.
As someone living with BPD, I have struggled with over-identifying with groups, roles, and partners, allowing them to define my identity. This symptom was exacerbated by my inability to form a foundational sense of self. I hardly knew who I was without the context of another person to define me.
Fortunately, it is possible to rediscover your sense of self. Here are some steps to get you started:
Identify Five Personal Values
Values are about how you choose to behave on an ongoing basis. Identifying a core set of values helped me determine aspects of my identity, such as aspirations and beliefs that actually stuck. From the list of values below, I picked five to act as my "north star":
Values List
Delve into Self-exploration
Time Spent Alone
Spend time alone and use this time to get to know yourself better. Try new hobbies, write in a journal, or record your thoughts with an audio app. A few journaling methods to start are stream of consciousness, gratitude journaling, art journaling, and video journaling.
Therapy was a great option for me to build self-awareness. Some self-exploratory modes of therapy include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - focuses on the cycle of thoughts and behavior. Here, your therapist will challenge your presumptions about yourself and your current circumstances in order to help you change unwanted behavior patterns.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) - is geared toward individuals who experience emotions intensely. Here, your therapist will focus on tools to develop self-acceptance and regulate emotional intensity in order to redirect your behavioral patterns.
Somatic Therapy - includes both talk therapy and a body-centric approach. Techniques used in somatic therapy are visualization, meditation, breath work, grounding, and sensation awareness exercises. This method is used to treat PTSD, anxiety, addiction, and depression.
Getting in tune with the fundamental aspects of my personality helped me rediscover myself, which made all the difference on my healing journey. Despite living with BPD, I’m able to promote a positive self-image that feels genuine and true to this day.
Resources:
Gad, Mohammad A., et al. “Facets of identity disturbance reported by patients with borderline personality disorder and personality-disordered comparison subjects over 20 years of prospective follow-up.” Psychiatry Research, vol. 271, latest issue, pp. 76-82. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S016517811831878X?via%3Dihub#preview-section-abstract. (Gad et al., n.d., #)
